Jiminy Opinionist: Angels and Demons

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"Fuck it." That's pretty much the attitude one has to have when going into any Dan Brown endeavor, but more on that later. The mega author (and now house hold name) responsible for both The DaVinci Code and Angels and Demons has somehow managed to spawn two blockbuster films and sell millions of copies of his pulpy faux historical fiction/thriller/mystery/page-turner-for-dummies novels. Well, the numbers are in and the fat stacks of bills have been counted: Ron Howard has phoned it in yet again and collected another paycheck with Angels and Demons.

Tom Hanks. is. back. as Harvard "symbologist" Robert Langdon, though you wouldn't really know his profession from the plot of the movie. Here's where the "fuck it" theory comes into play.

Average Angels and Demons Viewer Thought Process: Yeah, I guess a Harvard symbologist is sort of like a Law & Order rock star. Fuck it.

A problematic protagonist? We can get past that. This happens a lot in the picture shows these days. But what's difficult to get past is the bad acting, countless plot twists and the exposition heavy dialogue (the worst offense). And it's not going to get better any time soon. With Brown's next novel The Lost Symbol coming out in September, it won't take more than a year for Hanks & Co to churn out the next cash vaccum in the franchise.

The only good news out of all this? A&D isn't performing too well at the box office! With an opening weekend of just $46 million, things could be a little dicey for the next film. But, chances are the film will break even and they'll just keep making these suckers. Damn.


Bottom Line: Skip it. You'll get just as much history watching reenactments on the History Channel that are actually true and better acted.